California

Forgive

This is a hard word. Actually, it is an easy word because it’s phonetic: the “o” and “r” are totally making out as they always do and are making their special “or” sound. The “i” is long because it can see the “e” on the other side of the “v.” And the “e” is silent because the “i” just won’t stop talking.

In short, “forgive” as a word is a nice orderly cocktail party where all the guests are invited and behave exactly the way the host who chose them wants them to.

In long, “forgive” is a shit storm of guilt and pain and process and release. Sort of like a ’90’s warehouse rave around 9am when everyone’s been there for like 73 hours straight. There’s a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and snot. Lots and lots of snot. Forgiveness seems to need snot lubrication.

I suck at forgiveness. I either devalue it and say “that’s okay” which is the equivalent of saying “I don’t care enough about you for this to matter.” Or it is something I can’t possibly do in a million years. I don’t know why I get so stuck. I certainly produce enough snot.

But I don’t want to be stuck. I want to forgive. Or actually, I want the release that forgiveness brings. I want to stop being enslaved to the bitterness and desire for revenge that forgiveness brings.

My friend, Crystal Hadidian, is doing a project on forgiving. If you, like me, could use a little forgiveness in your life, you should check her kickstarter out.

Let’s forgive.

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One thought on “Forgive

  1. Pingback: Forgive (2) |

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